The 'Hairlarious' tale of an Addicted Gardener

Is Plant Addiction a Thing?  We think so, and we’re sure you will too when you read about the lengths Mr D goes too to conceal plant purchases from his wife.

Mr D is flamboyant, young, fun and creative.  We have had the pleasure of serving him in our garden centre for some time now.  We knew he loved his garden, and had a particular passion for plants, and for colour, but until recently, we had no idea of the level of his plant addiction. 

I recently worked with Mr D on a community project.  We laughed, and we chatted as we gardened.  Amongst the laughter and the chatter I learnt that Mr D, who is surrounded by women each day in his job as a hairdresser, has in fact, picked up a few of their habits.  So used to the subterfuge of the women he works with, he began to take it on himself.  He has heard it all ….. “darling, I’ve had that dress for ages, I can’t believe you haven’t seen it before” or “ … that old thing, I wore it to Uncle Bob’s 60th last year, don’t you remember”. 

Mr D told me of the times he has pulled into the driveway with a car full of plants; and how he has removed the plants from the back and front seat, leaving those in the boot until Mrs D is out of sight.    He laughed about the times he has snuck small seedlings amongst larger, more established plants and when questioned said they had been there for years, or the time he told her “all the plants were two for one at the hardware store today” (a regular occurrence apparently); or that he receives special discount because he is an extra special customer … which of course, means he can buy more plants which he can’t actually fit into his already bursting at the seams garden.  Or the times he has purchased seedlings, sure he has room for them, but upon arriving home discovering he simply can’t fit them in, so he secretly plants them into the garden at the local community centre.

Mr D is prone to impulse buying.  He is known to buy a new Boronia each spring.  Not because he has an amazing collection of them – in fact he doesn’t have room for one in his garden.  His Boronia purchase is entirely accidental, and usually is brought on by a visit to the garden centre when they are in flower.  The fragrance gets him every time, and even though he can’t possibly squeeze one into his garden, he justifies his purchase as ‘being better than buying a bunch of flowers’.  Boronia though, is not the only purchase not to make it into his garden.  He tells me he is regularly seduced by the power of plants, purchasing trees and shrubs knowing he doesn’t have room to fit into the design of his garden.  Instead he keeps them in pots, gives them away, or enjoys them until they die!

Don’t get me wrong, I have it on good advice that Mrs D gets great pleasure from their garden, and his gardening habits, she just doesn’t know the extent of the purchasing, the visits to our garden centre and others, or that he might have been pedalling a few white lies over the years!   She is the nicest of people.  If I was a betting person, I would say she probably harbours a suspicion about the plants which find their way to her garden, she just doesn’t know the extent of the plant addiction that feeds the habit.  

Mr D’s is not the type of garden you might expect of a plant addict, but a plant addict he is!  Such is his gardening addiction, he spends time in his garden each day before work, and again every evening, snipping, pulling weeds, sweeping, tweaking and most probably talking to his plants too.  His plant and garden addiction means he is constantly ruining his ‘good’ clothes and his house slippers because he simply can’t walk past his garden without ‘gardening’.   Nor I hear, can he walk past his verge or his neighbour’s verge without pulling weeds …. He is addicted!